The disregarded bestfriend notion

People, mostly men, say that there is nothing like having a best friend from the opposite sex. That it is all a scam to be close to these people that we are in love with.
Well, I have a different...totally and completely different opinion about this notion because it is actually possible to have a best friend from the opposite sex.
Personally, I have my very own tremendous best friend! His name is Ken.
He is one aggravating person and he makes me want to suppress him to tough and hard state of affairs because of the acts that he commits or omits or the statements he makes.
He is also one cocky person...I always think its because he knows he is handsome....so handsome that he instinctively entice ladies to his side.
Ken sleeps, eats and wakes up ego. What I mean is that he is egocentric. He cannot call a girl who stood him up, he can actually flout somebody just because he/she declined to lend him a pencil when they were in the third grade, sometimes, he will never show a girl he cares and likes her if he is not sure of her feelings...he calls is safe act! His egocentric nature drives everybody crazy...including his father. However, I am very concerned that he recently said 'I am sorry'. I went into a comma for sometime, well...not literally. I had to severally confirm that he was the one who had actually sent that message. I called him and asked about it and he said he is trying out something called change and transformation. I am still looking forward to see and experience the outcome, most probably in the next world. That is how impossible it is.
Did I mention that he eats a lot? I guess not. I pity every mammoth bowl of enchanting and fragrant nourishment that he decides to dig into because he will do it mercilessly and chomp it seriously.
Notwithstanding all these things, I love my best friend to death because he is the only person who comprehends me better than anybody else, sometimes even better than my own self.
He is comical and always cracks me up even when I want to lock myself up in a dusky and dingy room and cry myself silly because I feel overwhelmed by the adversities of this life.
Ken protects me. I feel safe when I am with him. No, he does not have a six pack, in fact, he has a vast belly that looks like my grandmother's begrimed kitchen pot (apparently he says the tummy is prestigious...I hope and pray that one day somebody will be able to convince him otherwise) nor does he have massive biceps but I know that no matter what, he will always protect me both physically and emotionally.
My best friend is always blunt with me. He tells me the make up that may make people laugh at me instead of laughing with me, the clothes that make me look like a 40 year old and the boyfriend who is a looser and a complete waste of my time.
I will never get done and over with the marvelous and beautiful things that my best friend is to me, all I know is that he will always be my rising shine and the bacon bite in the salad bowl of my life because he completes me. Totally. Now, I do not sleep with my best friend, we just have this relationship that is just out of this world because of its extra-ordinary nature!
And to you men who are exultant that your lady does not have such kind of person in her life, whom you think is crappy and nuisance to your relationship, I am emphatically sorry to disillusion you because every girl has that one friend that they want to talk to and be chatty with when they want to get away from the realities of life. They just do not call them best friends because it will raise eyebrows and their partners will start raising unnecessary concerns and petty insecurity issues. To the men fraternity, you are welcome, i gave you that piece of information without a penny in exchange because I like an environment that does not have any clandestine.